But perhaps you’re looking for a dominatrix who will spank you every time you’ve been naughty. Someone who will demand perfection, berating you into living a more submissive and Spartan lifestyle. Someone who will outline a program that will require you to cut out sinful foods and shed weight. If so, this book isn’t for you. There is no way in hell I am going to put you through that torture or nonsense! Au contraire, ma cherie; I am going to do quite the opposite. I am going to empower you to be decadent and healthy at the same time. In this book, I’m going to give you little tools that you can pull out of your rhinestone-studded tool belt when desperate times call for desperate measures. And I’m going to teach you how to navigate life’s land mines and prevent you from falling from grace when you’re wearing three-inch stilettos.
Before we embark upon this journey, take a look at the list below. It outlines exactly what Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous will teach you. These lessons may seem somewhat unconventional—especially if you’re one of those on-a diet- all-the-time-and-always-deprived young babes. But as your nutritional fairy godmother, I promise you they will only enhance your life.
Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous will:
· Teach you how to have fun, go out, and be healthy—all at the same time
· Show you how to put the fun back in eating and avoid restricting yourself
· Get your groove back in the sack and get your mojo going
· Tell you the secrets of the nutritional it girls and how they can help you
· Teach you what vitamins are right for you
· Empower you with the secrets of how to recover from a nasty hangover
· Help you realize that life is too short to be on a diet the whole time!
Fill-osophy
If your mission is to add some health in your life, you must make it as enjoyable as possible. Would you rather work out at the gym or play out at the roller disco? Would you rather eat a bowl of diet Jell-O or a bowl of chocolate ice cream? If you approach your eating lifestyle with fun, passion, and creative energy, you will carry that same enthusiasm across all realms of your life. If you’re passionate about eating and bring sensuality to it, you can imagine how well that will carry over into, ahem, other aspects of your life! And, ultimately, that is the goal I have for you. After all, if you're not having fun, what's the bloody point?
We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby
The dietitian in today’s society has it much better than the older generations did. When I first started out in the field, I had the impression that all dietitians wore hairnets and stirred giant vats of soup, advocating the four food groups and the merits of the food pyramid. Fortunately, the only nets we wear today are fishnets, instead of stirring soup, we shake up martinis and the four food groups have fallen the wayside, replaced by a more well-rounded approach. Of course, in my house there are still four food groups: chocolate, cocktails, desserts, and caffeine. (Kidding. Kidding!)
While dietitians have always advocated that diet is the absolute foundation of health, I’m here to tell you that pleasure is the most important nutrient in your diet. I’ve had many patients who are thin but absolutely miserable because their eating fears and obsessions weigh on their psyches, pull them down, and gnaw away at their esteem. On the other hand, I also have patients who are five to ten pounds over their dream weight, yet live happy, fulfilling ives because they aren’t obsessing over every little morsel they put in their mouths. Who’s having more fun here despite a few extra pounds on her frame?
Take a look at me. I don’t have the perfect body, and like every other woman out there, I have areas that I would like to improve upon. However, I also enjoy eating gooey chocolate desserts and am famous for being the vodka queen who makes some of the meanest martinis in town! If you told me I could never enjoy these delights again, I would not enjoy my life to the degree I do. Now, I don’t indulge in these foods on a daily basis, but when I have a craving, I give in to it. It helps balance my life and reminds me that I need to have fun on a regular basis. This fun and free attitude carries over to my nutrition practice as well. That is why I will never ask you to follow a plan I couldn’t follow myself.
Personally, I believe it’s essential to eat a healthy diet, but if that’s not a reality for you right now, it’s better to be honest with yourself. Make slow and gradual changes rather than drastic, impermanent ones. Just like weight loss, the slower you go, the more likely it is that you’ll be successful in sticking to it in the long run. Remember, my pretty perfectionistas: No unforgiving diets are allowed in this book, nor will they be tolerated. There is no place for self-flagellation, harsh criticisms, judgments, obsessions with thinness, or unworthiness here!Push those thoughts of doubt and fear out the window. Instead, focus on what makes you fabulous, babelicious, bootylicious, tatalicious, and toast yourself, darling! You are what makes you fabuous. Forget about those women's magazines that put skinny modelson the cover. Remind yourself that the publishers of those mags prey on our insecurities. Being gorgeous is not about emulating an emaciated model. It’s about learning about how to nourish your soul with fun and good health.
The Black-and-White Cookie : Is It All or Nothing?
Life is a smorgasbord and most people are starving. —Mame
New York City is filled with all kinds of swingers. There are swingers who trade lovers, swing dancers on Broadway, and swinging singles. Then there are the diet swingers who come into my office every week. Those creatures I will affectionately call my little black-and-white cookies.
Now, if you’re not familiar with a black-and-white cookie, you’re in for a treat. I myself had never heard of a black-and-white cookie until my twenties, despite the fact that they are one of the last bastions of old New York deli culture. A sweet, chewy sugar cookie lies beneath the perfect yin-yang balance of chocolate and vanilla frosting. Just sinking your chompers into one can make you see God. And how a person eats the cookie can be a good window into how she eats in general.
So many of us are black-and-white about our eating habits. We will eat either the vanilla (angelic and wholesome) side or the chocolate (sinful and decadent) side, but not both. The same goes for our day-to-day diets: We’re either “very good” all week or “very, very bad”! Our inner pendulum wildly swings back and forth. One week we’re in the food equivalent of Las Vegas, indulging in over-the-top rich foods and drink; the next week we’re at the monastery denying ourselves. You may even hear yourself say, “That will be the last cookie”—or doughnut or French fry or chip—“I ever eat. Ever!” Then you’ll eat salads for one day. Maybe even two. By the third day, you’ll never want to chew another vegetable again. It’s straight for the cookie aisle you head, to devilishly devour those glorious treats. And then it’s back to the drawing board all over again.
This all too familiar cycle is exhausting and self-defeating. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. The secret to keeping it all in balance is to eat right up the center of the cookie—that is, give yourself a little bit of what you crave. You see, I don’t believe people can exist only in the land of black and white; I think we really need to play in the gray areas these days. I once had a patient who told me she constantly craved chocolate. So I said, “Well, how do you get rid of your cravings?” She said, “I eat chocolate!” My kind of girl. It’s this sort of attitude that keeps us from the cycle of bingeing and denying.
In my experience, people eat the way they live and live the way they eat. So, my little vixen—have a sensual experience every time you pop a piece of food in your mouth. Savor the flavor, love each luscious bite, and be present in the moment.
If you take only one thing away from Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous, take this: It’s okay to indulge in rich, delicious food—just as long as you indulge moderately. Now repeat the following mantras after me:
I will not restrict myself.
I will not deprive myself.
I will feed my physical and emotional hungers.
I will never